Top 15 Ways to Get Unhealthy & Be in the Worst Shape of Your Life

Now that I've got your attention, you're probably thinking "Mary has lost it and gone to the dark side." Not quite. A colleague of mine sent me a link to the website Sports Fitness Solutions. (Thanks Margie!) Check out this website as it has great strength & conditioning programs for a number of sports. I found this list in their blog and thought it would be a fun change of pace to hear all the top things to do to get unhealthy and as he puts it become a "physical mess." I'm enclosing this list here, but check out their blog for more interesting articles on fitness & motivation.

Top 15 Ways to Become Unhealthy & in the Worst Shape of Your Life

1. Eat two meals a day and make sure you skip breakfast totally. If you MUST eat breakfast for whatever reason, make sure you eat a lot of high sugar and high fat foods, such as sticky buns, French Toast, and Pancakes with syrup.

2. Make sure the two meals you eat are full of mostly sugar, and processed ingredients. If you need some help with this, eat lots of high sugary carbs that are found in packages.

3. Do your best to be as inactive as possible each day. If you work at a desk job, stay there as much as possible. Get rides to and from your destination and make sure you get a parking spot as close to your door as possible.

4. Eat very late at night, and be sure to eat only fatty foods that are filled with high amounts of saturated fat, sugar, and white flour. Make sure you more than you should, especially before you go to bed.

5. Drink a lot of alcohol each night. Beer, mixed drinks, whatever, just make sure it’s more than you need. Don’t ever just have a “few”…drink to excess. Always follow your alcoholic binging with the suggestions from number 4, above.

6. Never lift weights, stretch, or in any way get your heart rate up. That means no running, walking more than necessary, and no working out at all. EVER.

7. Do not listen to your body, when your body hurts, pay no attention to the pain, just push through it, and try not to do anything to make it better. Do nothing to correct it.

8. Watch a lot of TV. In fact spend all of your spare time watching TV or surfing the net. ALWAYS have some kind of fatty, high calorie snack with you while you are watching or surfing. Some great choices are cookies, M & M’s, chips, wings, and ice cream.

9. Drink everything except water. Make sure that all of your liquid intake, other than alcohol, are liquids that are loaded with sugar. Sodas are your best choice here.

10. DO NOT eat VEGGIES or Fruit. If you must eat fruit, make sure it comes in a can and is packed in syrup. If you must eat fresh fruit, make sure to dip it in chocolate, honey or some other kind of high sugar, high fat food. If you are forced to eat veggies, spread a ton of butter or cheese over them.

11. Smoke everyday, and smoke a lot. Fill your lungs with thick smoke as much as possible. If you can do this WHILE you are drinking alcohol, even better.

12. Stay up very late eating, and watching TV; and wake up early each morning. Make sure you are always tired and never get enough sleep.

13. Eliminate all fiber from your diet. If you eat mostly fatty processed foods, you should be good here.

14. Never wash your hands throughout the day. This goes for after you go to the bathroom too.

15. No vitamin or mineral supplements whatsoever. Don’t supplement your already crappy diet with anything that might help your health.


I hope you enjoyed this light-hearted look at the habits that make us unhealthy. If a number of these ring true for you, try to work on one item at a time to turn it around. And as always, I'm here to help.